Sunday, March 3, 2013


Clothes with pricetags, and plastic
manniquins with dead eyes.
All I can see are sizes and labels,
and I want so much to not be here.

“If you just stopped worrying…”
“You have nothing to fret about, honey.”
“You’re not fat…I mean, you’re not exactly skinny,
but definitely not fat.”

All the reassurance in the world
does not change the afternoons
sequestered in my room,
my face glued to a mirror

If only the memories could be erased
as easily.  So much has been taken from
me by forceful hands.  All
kinds of survival are revenge.

Pass me by.  Pay no attention
to the girl falling to pieces in
Old Navy.  It started with a sweater
in the wrong size…

Sometimes I worry that my life
has the strength of butterfly wings.
I’ve been turned into a victim, but survived.
Hear this now, nobody can hurt me.

My aunt smelled like vanilla and warm
bread.  When she hugged me,
I could feel her heart beating.
I just want to feel my heart beating….


  1. Oh my, your words are so brutal and honest. Do you know how to add a subscribe button to your site. I would love to get these poems delivered to my email account every day.
    My last name is Hodges as well.
    I am a cat. People are always calling me fat. I don't like it at all. They think I can't hear them, but I can. They think I don't speak English, just cat talk. But I know what they are saying.
    All the best, my dear. I will be thinking of you today.
    xo Love Pooh

  2. Your words really are powerful! There is so much going on in this poem--connections, memories, images, emotions. Wow!

  3. life has the strength of butterfly wings....I loved that line
    I went back and read your poems. They all carry a theme of loss and a bit of healing. Your words touch the feelings of readers. I hope that you will find power through writing.

  4. Love the line "It started with a sweater in the wrong size." I hope you are enjoying the slicing!

  5. I think you need to carry something scented with vanilla in your purse and just take a whiff to remember your aunt's and your own heart beating.